Relationships – Getting Started

Relationships – Getting Started

By: Karen McCauley

Relationship always implies some kind of exchange – minimally an exchange of air and in many cases emotions, fluids, and other substances. Folk traditions and wives’ tales abound here, some seemingly well-grounded in reality as we know it. Regardless of the exchange involved, certain issues always merit analysis when we are asked to provide astrological input on comparisons or composites. Generally, people enter relationships because there is promise of some of their needs being met through the interaction. Any analysis must first determine each individual’s needs as well as their ability to give in a relationship. To determine needs, look at the natal chart and pay special attention to the 3rd, 7th, and 11th, then the 8th, the Moon and Venus. Next compare what one offers that meets the other’s needs – contacts to the Sun, Moon, North Node, ASC and DSC are the strongest indicators.

relationships1. Comfort with biologic role – Sun & Moon tell us how the person relates to same and opposite sex.

    • SUN light/no aspects = males play less significant role in the life
    • Well-aspected = at ease with males and expected gender role with males
    • Harshly-aspected = stressful relations with males and societal demands relating to males
    • MOON light/no aspects = females less important in the life
    • Well-aspected = relates easily and happily with females
    • Harshly-aspected = female qualities irritating or demanding

2. Ability to give of oneself – in romantic and sexual relationships especially, Venus shows this and ability to find beauty and value in others and communicate those feelings. Apply same aspect interpretation as with the Sun and Moon.

3. Match in life goals, limitations, unconscious needs – shown by the houses that the Moon and Venus occupy (what kind of life will be satisfying to the individual). Saturn’s house position shows areas of frustration and ambivalence and perceived lacks. Neptune’s placement tells us what always seems to elude the person in finding complete fulfillment and satisfaction.

4. Importance of relationships and level of relating energy – shown by signs of the inner planets and the house cusps of the 3rd, 7th, 11th, 5th, and 8th.

    • Fire signs = most physical energy
    • Earth signs = most stable and durable energy
    • Air signs = most companionability and intellectual stimulation
    • Water signs = most emotional energy

5. Check Saturn cycles for ability to maintain the relationship through change and maturation. We are most focused on partnerships when outer planets transit the 5th, 7th, and 8th but can also be highly motivated with transits to the 4th or 10th. Timing counts heavily in starting and maintaining relationships.

6. Getting what they want (Mars, stimulus) vs. being what they want to be (Venus, response)

    • Sun = life purpose, style, children, self-expression, spontaneity, love, creativity
    • Moon = emotions, security needs, nurturing style
    • Mercury = shared communication, wit, talking
    • Jupiter = risk-taking, expansiveness, philosophical outlook, metaphysical views
    • Mars = stimulation, drive, sexual assertiveness, applied energy
    • Venus = comfort, generosity, ease, fun, pleasure, sensuality, relaxation
    • Saturn = major life challenges, area of fear, glue which binds people, felt lack, boundaries, enduring ties
    • Uranus = eccentric ideas/action, weird/erratic behavior, electricity, high awareness – separation/freedom issues
    • Neptune = complicated, often triangulates, unfocused, romantic, idealistic, blind spot, fragility, disappointment from idealization, confusion or premature merging with partner, health breakdowns, immune problems
    • Pluto = passionate, deep bonding, obsessive, fixed, dominant, compulsive, prone to jealousy, controlling

7. Planetary resonance = feeling you have something in common, connectedness – you want to feel that feeling again – of course, the resonance can indicate conflict too. Anything you fear, you’re likely to draw to you. Aspects are an invitation for change to occur. Look at the ruler of the angles and planets in those houses

1st house: what you need |   7th house: what you want/can tolerate

8. The most exact aspects between two charts provide the THEME or most memorable quality of or drawing cards for the relationship. Exact, intense aspects lock the people in until the issue gets worked out. These aspects are experienced as invasions in one’s personal space.

9. For a relationship to endure, the following three are a MUST HAVE:

    • something with Mars for stimulus, energy, spark, action
    • something with Venus or Jupiter for fun, joy, expansion, or ease.
    • something with Saturn for endurance, commitment, trials, obstacles

10. Important contacts (conjunct, opposite, or square, unless otherwise stated)

    • Sun & Moon – a real knowing or blending that takes place
    • Sun & Mars – can be very competitive
    • Mars & Moon – very sexual, erotic, exciting
    • Any Person A contact to ruler of Person B’s 7th – THIS HAS TO BE THERE FOR THE RELATIONSHIP TO LAST – any planet or contact counts here, but some (like trines) are weaker ties
    • Matching but NOT DUPLICATE angles (ignore same signs rising here)
    • Sun & ASC
    • Moon & ASC
    • Moon & Saturn – very karmic or fated
    • Sun & Saturn – also karmic or fated – people have work to do together which holds them in the relationship – (Saturn is time and development)
    • Jupiter & Sun, Moon, Venus, or Mars – joyfulness, expanding, risking, opportunity, harmony, excesses
    • Mars & ASC – very stimulating

11. Other, lesser contacts to consider

    • Venus & Moon or Sun – these people like each other – genuine affection between them
    • Mars & Venus (A, S, D, F) = stimulation
    • Person A has planet/s in Person B’s 7th house
    • Strong nodal contacts, including any exact aspect
      a. Mars square nodes may indicate conflicts around you or among your friends
      b. Saturn to nodes can be teacher/student, corrective, restrictive, some level of frustration
    • Planets that fall on another’s angles (ASC/DSC, MC/IC)
    • Venus or Moon conjunct another’s MC = person will further your goals or career, almost like the person has an affection for what you want to do and is unselfish in nurturing or giving to you
    • Other person’s planet stimulates your stellium or other configuration (yod, t-square, grand trine, etc.)
    • Mars & Mars or Venus & Venus – any aspect means you’re moving in the same direction or have similar values

12. Five contacts, a little more subtle but still powerful

    • Person A fills in a missing element for Person B
    • Person A has planets in sign of Person B’s interception, particularly important if Person B has no planets there
    • Sharing the same or opposing planetary pair by sign or aspect
    • Person A Venus conjunct Uranus Moon square Saturn
    • Person B Venus trine Uranus Moon in Capricorn
    • Person A has planets in contact with Person B’s Juno (asteroid which is associated with relationships)
    • Person A has planets on midpoint of important pairs of Person B’s chart & the reverse
    • Sun/Moon = male-female polarity
    • Venus/Mars = yin/yang exchange
    • Venus/Jupiter = happy together
    • Venus/Moon = true affection
    • Sun/Jupiter = joyful, optimistic, generous
    • Sun/Uranus or Venus/Uranus = excitement
    • Sun/Saturn or Sun/Jupiter = success
      “He makes me feel so good” really is “he opens that part in me.”

13. For needs:

    • look at individual charts – 7th,8th, Venus and Moon
    • compare what one offers that meets the other’s needs
    • Sun, Moon, North Node, ASC, DSC very strong
    • One’s Venus conjunct other’s Moon = juicy reward

Neville, E.W. Planets in Synastry. Atglen, PA: Whitford Press (Schiffer Publishing), 1990.
Notes from Aquarius Workshops lectures by Dorothy Oja (1999) and Karen McCauley (1998)